Even writing out this title gives me a sense of shame. We bought teething mixture. I had heard a lot about teething mixture before we had bought it. Good things from moms who had used it previously and some scary things from moms who would just never do that to their child! It was this conflict, that had made me so embarrassed to even consider this mixture. There is so much information out there, so much judgement, so many people guilt tripping you on how you should be raising your children.
Related post: My thoughts on the ever present, mom judgement
Teething mixture sold by most pharmacies is a mixture that generally is different per pharmacy. An unmarked bottle that they put together while you wait. When asked what it contained the pharmacist rambled off some things – he knew what was in there and he was giving it to me. Right? But it wasn’t in an approved medication and he wasn’t a doctor. What do you do when this has adverse reactions? The scariest part though was that the instructions had an extremely small dosage per 8hrs. So scary that I told myself driving home that day that I was just going to keep it for in case.
The kind of in the back of the fridge for 2am when there is no one to see me in case.
We did end up using it twice. Desperate times, I’d like to say. It makes me feel better to explain that we hadn’t slept in over a week. That Daniel was in incredible pain, even that our usual go to had been removed from the market and we honestly didn’t know what to do anymore. Hubby and I were fighting with one another, cranky and our home life was just not okay. These are not excuses (or maybe they are), but they led me to a place where I got off my “I won’t be that parent” high horse and did what I could to try to alleviate the situation.
Related post: How do you combat sleep deprivation?
So I did it. I didn’t sleep well that evening because I kept checking for adverse effects. The feeling of absolute disappointment in myself also didn’t leave me. Disappointed, because I wasn’t stronger, that sleep, stress and worry had pushed me to drop some silly standard I had. Kind of like when Daniel was born and I promised to cook every single one of his meals, that he would eat only organic food and never have any sweets. Unrealistic much? I didn’t dare tell anyone either – just because I was so ashamed.
I’ve come to realise months later, there honestly isn’t a right and wrong when it comes to you children. There are preferred methods that have been proven to have better results in the long term. Advice, is all anyone else can ever give you. Ultimately though – you mama, are the only one who has to face your life, your kids and your choices. So whether it is dropping those high hopes you have, because it will make life a little easier or going the unfavourable route. It’s not embarrassing to be tired, or to be absolutely and completely at your wits end.
It’s motherhood – and it’s your journey, there are no perfect parents. Only real ones. I hope that if you are feeling a little mom guilt about something you’ve done that made you feel like a failure, you feel a little better because – me too!
In the Meantime – I thought writing this down would make me feel a little better about using teething mixture. Maybe I’m trying to justify it, or maybe I’m just shinning the light into the darkness and saying – so what?