In February, I turned the big 3-0! All my friends and family had count downs going – this was a big birthday. I left behind a decade of my life and have entered into a new season! Initially I planned to write a post about being thirty but heck, I’m no expert on that – I mean I just got here. So being the reflective person that I am I chose to look back and review my twenties and the lessons that I learnt.
Let me start right off the cuff and tell you they were TOUGH! Actually, I even think that tough is an understatement.
In general I think the twenties are your most unstable and confusing years, you are figuring out so much. Who you are, who you want to be, who your friends are. What you like, and don’t like, everything you don’t want to be. They are our experimental years, the years we – “try” things, get hurt and find our strength. All these experiences, most especially those really crappy ones have lessons for us to learn, lessons to prepare us for the next season in our lives. I would like to think that these lessons will stay with me, and help me to deal with everything that this new decade holds to throw at me.
This is what I learnt from my twenties
- Sometimes you need to accept the apology you never received. I want to say that it is so easy to get so very hurt, because we base so much on our expectation of what should be. Don’t stay in bondage and unforgiveness because you didn’t receive the apology you deserve, you know what you deserve more? Freedom and happiness. So free yourself and forgive.
- Not everything is about you. Hey man! Guys this one took me years to learn. Sometimes, someone else is having a bad day and they forget to greet you. Or they are a little shorter with you than you feel comfortable with. Sometimes, they just crap all over you for no reason. Most times, and I say most because some people are just a-holes. It’s because they are going through their own thing, we need to allow them that and the space to be. It’s gonna save you a lot of unnecessary anxiety to remember that! TRUST ME ON THIS ONE!
- Accept yourself for who you are. This speaks for itself. My whole twenties was a blur of trying to figure out who I was. What made everyone else happy. And eventually – what made me happy. I am still coming into this – with my acceptance of my natural hair, weight and personality.
- If you are waiting for the right time, you will wait forever. There is never a “right” time. Not for a baby, or for marriage or to buy a house. Everything will never be ideal, but life always has a way of working out. Don’t be afraid to take the chance. 🙂
- Miracles are a prayer away. If you know me – you will know that miracles are all around me. Daniel in himself is a miracle baby. He came after Dr’s said we would struggle to conceive. My sister is a walking miracle.
- Love whenever you can, at every opportunity to show love and be kind. DO! This more recently has become so evident to me, a new friend recently told me that I am genuinely the nicest person she has ever met. Guys, I am not that nice. This made me so sad. Everyone is fighting their own battles and at the risk of sounding like Ellen – we really should “Be kind to one another”
These are just some of the more prominent lessons I’ve learnt, if I have to tell you all my lessons I will be here till tomorrow, and perhaps the day thereafter. I was one of those people who needed to learn a lesson more than once before I understood it. (Face palm!) Lots of heartache later – I learnt the lessons! They have given me hope, and allowed me to see the silver lining, and to have faith that it all works together for my good.