This title may sound a little dramatic – because well this mama is a little dramatic. But so was my last week. Daniel took a really bad fall last week Monday. Getting that call was possibly the most trauma my heart has felt in a really long time. The paramedics are on the way. My son is 14 months old. Ambulance? Paramedics? Already I was picturing the worst possible outcome. Parenting toddlers is so tough. Now I’ve read all about Maz’s experiences with “What no-one tells you about having a baby boy” – but honestly I didn’t expect them to be true to this extent.
This post is a little delayed and it will explain a little about why things have been so quiet around these parts. This was Daniel’s second encounter at the ER – the first being a middle of the night stint on Valentine’s Day with a nasty viral infection. I couldn’t really say I have had any other experiences like this. Daniel had a deep gash on the right side of his forehead, from falling into a wooden sandpit. It felt like the longest day of my life, as we drove to the Dr’s, then to the ER and waited and waited while it seemed like the gash was getting deeper. He was getting moodier. And my already shot nerves were wearing thin.
The nurses at the ER were sure that he needed stitches but I wouldn’t hear it. I pushed for tissue glue (which by the way – I didn’t even know about until our GP said because of his age we should be trying first). Possibly because I couldn’t bear to have to hold him down for what may have been 7-8 stitches. The glue held for a bit, and then the wound began to swell, tearing further and as a result began to bleed again. Next up was our pediatrician.
He took one look at the wound and said “if this was my child, I would take him for stitches, I’m going to refer you to a plastic surgeon”. I think he could probably see the utter disdain in my face. My heart was beating in my throat. I couldn’t say anything. I just nodded. He proceeded to tell us some really gross story about one of his children and what they did. Before I knew what was happening we were getting approval for DJ to go into theatre. I think I aged 7 years in the 3 days while all this was taking place.
Theatre went quickly and he ended up with 3 layers of stitches. Although I was really unsure about allowing him to go into theatre because Google said some stuff about toddlers going under local anesthetic that made me nervous about how much the Dr’s really know. I mean Google knows everything. Note to self: Google is not your friend in trauma situations.
Daniel is recovering well, actually too well. He is bouncing around forgetting that he even has a head wound. His mother on the other hand. She is not as resilient. She is a little more careful, a little more panicked. A lot more grateful. Grateful for friendship, family, and for support. For my husband, our children and their safety. I am more aware and most importantly more present.
Life sometimes has a way of showing you – that it is all just grace. We are only here by grace. And it is sufficient for you.